Announcement

I'll be honest, the last week I just haven't felt right. I haven't been sleeping, I have been craving sweets (I am more of a salty person) and my clothes are a little tight. Not to mention, my skin has been really itchy. And I had a feeling that my slight bouts of dizziness and upset stomach were due to something much greater than coffee for breakfast. I was kind of ignoring all of these things until it hit me yesterday...I might be pregnant. Hmm ... that would definitely explain it.

I stopped on the way home for a pregnancy test. Of course, every checkout person was a man so I tried to find something else to throw in my cart ... I picked pantyliners.

I got home, said goodbye to Claudia, checked on Ashley who was fast asleep in her afternoon nap and headed upstairs to take THE TEST.

I should mention at this point that we have not been trying to have another kid. But we have not been NOT trying either. So really its anyone's guess at this point.

I pee on the little stick and then walk away, trying not to care or worry if two minutes have passed. I read an article in MORE magazine. This magazine is for women over 40. I am not 40, but find that a lot of articles are relevant to me. This concerns me.

I head back to check on the stick...

And now for the announcement...

Turns out, I'm just fat.

(The diet and exercise regime starts today. I need to come to terms with the fact that my poor eating habits and stress-filled life are what is causing the aforementioned symptoms. I would have known this if I started reading MORE magazine a little earlier. I'm not 25 anymore, people. These are real issues.)

Coffee Is Food, Right?

Well, here I am ... sitting at my desk with the sun beating down on my back. It's about 50 degrees outside and I'm sweating my ass off in here. I'm trying to decide if I should:
1. Go eat a salad
2. Try and make the Yoga class in the gym downstairs
3. Screw it and go eat a gi-normous burrito

This is what happens when I only have coffee for breakfast. Which is like, everyday. I just can't seem to figure out how to get up, spend some time with my child before Claudia arrives (love and guilt all mixed up into one), get my tired ass in the shower and try and make it into my hotbox of an office at a decent hour while finding a moment to eat breakfast. (BTW - A decent hour before kids was 8:30, now I shoot for 9:15 and usually miss. Sad...)

I hate to admit it, but some mornings I fantasize about chips and salsa, refried beans and melted cheese. Even if my stomach hurts from just having coffee. I can't fight the power of mexican food. I can't! I won't!

Also worthy of noting, I look tired again. My two week holiday is dead to me. I don't sleep well again - stress from work combined with hoping I spend enough time with my child - and its taking a toll. My skin looks sallow (I'm not even sure of what that word means, but it sounds serious and this is serious business). I have rings under my eyes and this morning I noticed that my roots are showing and that I now have grey hair. What the hell.

Side Bar -- My husband has just lost almost 15 pounds since Jan.1st. he is working out every night with some Navy Seal-type workout DVD's. This makes me feel even more tired.

I seriously need to get it together. But first, I need some mexican food.